I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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