Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize