just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
