whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
