I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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