she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
