But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize