And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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