Buhtt sex?
You smell like stripper and shame
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
