just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
