those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
