how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
