Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
