What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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