why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have aggressive nipples.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
