we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
foreskin is a definite game changer
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
