he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
