I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize