THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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