she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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