I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
