im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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