bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
