how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
