Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
