I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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