so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
