Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
