I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
