idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
