Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize