Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize