Just fell off a train. Bad.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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