I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
