I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
