how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
