I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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