i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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