I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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