I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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