im about as happy as oj after his trial
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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