I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
