I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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