I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
