I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
