dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize