at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
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i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
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Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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