I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
