shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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