woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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