I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
