and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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