NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
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This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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