it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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